As I look back at my elementary school years, as expected I gave the impression of being a happy little boy. I had male friends that I played with outside of school in my neighborhood. I would ride bikes, run around, climbed trees, and my least favorite played in the dirt. Well at school I gravitated towards the girls in my class during recess and we would play together, we would play games that were redeemed for girls. We would play house, jump rope, and my favorite hopscotch. I enjoyed my time in school for the very reason that even for a moment I could be one of the girls, opposed to one of the boys. Up until that very last bell, when that bell rang I knew I had to return back into the reality of having to act the way a boy is supposed to act.

Outside of school I did the traditional things a boy was supposed to do, I would join the other boys in my neighborhood doing things like I didn’t detest but at the same time didn’t want any part of either. I also did sports, baseball and football, did those because of my uncles involvement in sports thinking that is what a boy supposed to do, therefore I felt that same was expected of me. Baseball I liked do to the only reason my dad coached my team and I enjoyed our quality time together, even if it meant playing a sport that was for boys. I enjoyed football, but would have preferred watching and being on the sideline as one of the cheerleaders. During my elementary years it was a dreadful time for me growing up, having to deal with the confliction between who I wish I could be and who I had to be to the outside world, especially inside my family. Growing up in a highly male dominant culture I had to conform to what was expected of me. So being born a genetic male I was forced to wear the costume of being a boy and take on the role that was expected of me, opposed to being allow to be my true self, I took the stage and began the performance of my life as a boy knowing that someday I would change my costume and reveal to the world the woman within me in time.